What Is the Missionary Position? Variations, Safety Tips & How To Do It Right
By: GetSetWild team
Last Updated: 11, 11, 2025
Disclaimer: This guide is for general educational purposes only and does not replace medical advice. If you experience pain, discomfort, or have ongoing pelvic health concerns, consult a qualified healthcare professional.
What Is the Missionary Position?
The missionary position is one of the most well-known and widely practiced intimate positions where one partner lies on their back and the other faces them from above. It is valued for its closeness, communication, and ability to adapt to different bodies, rhythms, and comfort levels.
History & Etymology (Myth vs Reality)
Many believe the name “missionary” originated from Christian missionaries who promoted this as the “proper” way to have intercourse. However, there is no strong evidence supporting this idea. The term actually became popularized in the 20th century, especially after Alfred Kinsey’s 1948 sexual behavior research, which referenced commonly practiced partner-face-to-face positions. Over time, the term “missionary position” became shorthand for a familiar, face-to-face partner alignment.
Benefits & Drawbacks (Quick Overview)
| Category | Benefits | Possible Drawbacks | Fixes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Connection | Eye contact, kissing, emotional intimacy | N/A | Maintain rhythm/communication |
| Control & Rhythm | Easy for giver to set pace; receiver can guide | Can feel repetitive | Switch angles; add grinding or toys |
| Clitoral Contact | Easy to add hands or toys | Not enough contact by default | Shift to CAT technique |
| Depth & Angle | Easy angle adjustments | Deep thrusts may cause pressure | Reduce depth, use pillows, slow tempo |
| Accessibility | Works for most body types | Back/hip strain if unsupported | Use pillows under hips or knees |
How To Do Missionary — Step-by-Step Guide
1. Set the Base
Choose a comfortable surface. Add a thin pillow or wedge under the receiver’s hips if you want more upward tilt.
2. Align Your Bodies
Receiver lies on their back with knees soft and relaxed. Giver positions themselves above, using forearms or hands for support.
3. Find Natural Rhythm
Start slowly. Let your bodies find a tempo that feels natural and comfortable. Focus on grinding or small movements—not just deep thrusts.
4. Tilt & Adjust
Small pelvic adjustments can drastically change stimulation. Tilt hips up, rotate slightly, or shift bodies 1–2cm for new sensations.
5. Add Hands or Toys
A small bullet vibrator or manual clitoral stimulation adds enhanced pleasure without losing rhythm.
6. Communicate
Talk about what feels good—tempo, depth, angle, pressure—all affect experience.
Safety, Consent & Pelvic Health
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Lubrication reduces friction and increases comfort.
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Check in frequently. If any partner experiences pain or discomfort, stop and realign.
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Cervix pressure pain: Reduce depth, increase foreplay, use angled positions.
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Pelvic floor tightness: Breathe slowly, avoid deep thrusts, use more lubrication.
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Protection: Use condoms/dams as needed; change condoms if switching between orifices.
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Pregnancy: Elevated torso or side-tucked variations can be more comfortable during pregnancy—always consult a clinician.
Variations to Make Missionary More Comfortable, Exciting & Adaptable
Here are 12 variations (updated to match competitor coverage) that enhance stimulation, accessibility, or angle. Each entry includes HOW, WHY, and WHEN to try it.
1) Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
How: Giver slides slightly higher up; grinding replaces thrusting.
Why it works: Maximum clitoral contact.
Try if: External stimulation is key to orgasm.
2) Elevated Hips (Pillow/Wedge)
How: Pillow under hips increases angle.
Why: Intensifies G-area stimulation.
Try if: You want deeper sensations with less physical effort.
3) Legs on Shoulders (Deep Angle)
How: Receiver raises legs onto giver’s shoulders.
Why: Allows deep penetration and angle intensity.
Try if: You both enjoy deeper sensations.
Note: Communicate to avoid pressure discomfort.
4) Butterfly Edge
How: Receiver lies at bed edge; giver stands.
Why: Full angle control and effortless rhythm.
Try if: You want wrist relief or hip support.
5) Side-Tucked Variation
How: One leg bent, one straight.
Why: Less hip strain, more comfort for tight joints.
Try if: Mobility challenges or chronic pain.
6) The Anchor
How: Giver stays low, supports weight on elbows; slow grinding.
Why: Increases intimacy, reduces joint strain.
Try if: You prefer slow, controlled movement.
7) The Pretzel
How: One leg over giver’s hip, one extended.
Why: Creates asymmetrical pressure for unique sensation.
Try if: You want novelty without extreme angles.
8) CAT + Toy Hybrid
How: Combine CAT with a bullet vibrator.
Why: Maximizes orgasm likelihood.
Try if: You want stronger, consistent clitoral stimulation.
9) Jackknife (High-Angle)
How: Receiver pulls knees toward chest.
Why: Creates deep angle, increases intensity.
Try if: You both want increased depth/pressure control.
10) Dirty Dangle
How: Receiver’s legs dangle off bed; giver kneels/stands.
Why: Gravity helps angle; easier access.
Try if: You want to experiment with depth without strain.
11) Viennese Oyster
How: Receiver raises legs wide and high.
Why: Opens pelvic area, increases access.
Try if: Deep sensations are pleasurable.
12) Side-Saddle Missionary
How: Receiver’s hips rotated slightly sideways.
Why: Reduces pelvic tension; creates rolling stimulation.
Try if: You prefer shallow penetration or more grinding.
Quick Comparison Table for Variations
| Variation | Depth | Clitoral Stim | Best For | Mobility Demand |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| CAT | Low | Very High | Clitoral-focused pleasure | Low |
| Elevated Hips | Medium-High | Medium | G-area stimulation | Low |
| Legs on Shoulders | High | Medium | Deep sensations | High |
| Butterfly | Medium | Medium | Angle control, stability | Low |
| Side-Tucked | Low | Medium | Joint issues | Very Low |
| Pretzel | Medium | Medium | Variety | Medium |
| Jackknife | High | Low-Medium | Strong sensations | High |
| Dirty Dangle | High | Medium | Gravity assistance | Medium |
| Viennese Oyster | High | Low-Medium | Access & openness | High |
| Anchor | Low | High | Slow intimacy | Low |
Tips to Make It More Pleasurable for Both Partners
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Slow > Fast: Grinding > hard thrusting.
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Use your hands: Nipples, neck, thighs—stimulation layers increase overall pleasure.
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Vary tempo: Slow, rhythmic motions build more controlled arousal.
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Use breath: Sync breathing to increase connection + reduce tension.
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Micro-adjustments: 1–2cm pelvic shift = completely different sensation.
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Add temperature play: Warm up lube/hands or blow cool air for tingles.
Common Problems & Fixes
“It hurts at certain angles.”
Try shallow thrusts, add lubrication, reduce depth.
“I can’t maintain rhythm.”
Switch to grinding or Butterfly variation.
“Not enough clitoral stimulation.”
Use CAT, add toy, or apply pressure above pubic bone.
“Wrist/shoulders hurt.”
Use pillows, forearm support, or Butterfly position.
Inclusive Guidance for All Bodies & Orientations
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Terms like “giver/receiver” keep instructions inclusive.
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Works for straight, queer, trans, or non-binary couples—focus on angle, rhythm, stimulation type.
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People with limited mobility can use Side-Tucked, Anchor, or Butterfly positions.
FAQ — Quick Answers to Real Questions
Is missionary boring?
Not when variations and angle changes are used—it’s incredibly adaptable.
Is missionary safe during pregnancy?
With torso elevation and shallow depth, yes—consult a clinician for personalized advice.
Why does missionary hurt sometimes?
Deep or direct cervix pressure, insufficient arousal, or tight pelvic muscles—fix with lube and angle adjustments.
Can missionary help with closeness?
Yes—face-to-face makes communication natural and intimate.
What if it’s uncomfortable for my hips?
Try Side-Tucked or Butterfly to reduce strain.
Is missionary good for beginners?
Ideal—simple, comfortable, and easy to modify.
